Unknowns mixed with fear are what’s holding you back

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fear of the unknown is not permanent

#Quote: Naeem Callaway

When deciding whether or not to start an online business it’s usually a combination of the unknowns mixed with fear that holds you back. If you’re feeling that way this tells me 3 things about you

1: you have the good sense to know this is not a walk in the park

2: you have to find out what the unknowns are in order get started and

3: Fear is the common denominator that keeps us from doing what we love.

Great news is you’re not alone and while your fears may be irrational they are self-perpetuating: nonetheless they’re common place and a very real inhibitor for most women, but it doesn’t have to be that way.

If I can you can.

As a Master of Management ( MA) a Member of the Chartered Managers Institute (MCMI) and a teacher in the lifelong learning sector, it may surprise you to know none of that is what brought me here to serve you. My life and work experience: some painfully gained wisdom along the way and the fact that I love listening and talking to other women, is what really ignited my passion and inspired me to do the work I do.

My academic qualifications (while they’re nice to have and I’m proud to have them) do not support my business in any way. I neither use nor need them in an academic context to run my business.

I was once your story 

As a mid-life woman: when you seriously start thinking about taking your business online for the first time: I know what this feels like for you because it’s only when you’ve experienced one type of life that another life starts calling you. A life you couldn’t achieve as your younger self because you hadn’t yet had time to acquire the skills and experience that have brought you this far and you probably didn’t have the opportunity because you were so busy with other commitments but now the time for change has come.

You want to take everything you have acquired up until this point, shape this into a business and share it with the world: I know because it was the same for me.

At the moment everything is up in the air for you literally: imagine a dozen tennis balls circling above your head fear of the unknown is not permanentand each one of them individually contains a skill, a passion, a desire, an idea, a business name, a website, an ideal client and so on: you get the picture and it’s been like that for a while.

What you want to do is get those balls out of the sky, onto the table and aligned into a business of your own but where to start? That is the sixty four thousand dollar question. As I said earlier you’re not alone in this and my question for you is: Are you going to make a start and if so when?

Before you answer that let me say if fear is what’s keeping you back “the fear will always be there “ask any successful business owner and they will tell you it never goes away. Yes it comes and goes but to some degree it stays with you and that’s normal, it shows you’re human, passionate and that you don’t want to fail. Believe me there would be something wrong if you weren’t afraid!

That said: don’t let fear rob you of an opportunity to have a different life than the one you have now. Don’t let fear steal your dreams and keep you small. And most importantly don’t let fear define you as a woman.

Now getting back to your business

if you’re still on this page that tells me you don’t know what to do next or where to start because if you did you already would have. Let that marinate for a second….. If you did you already would have!

It took me years to figure it all out on my own, years of wasted time, money and not earning while I was learning because I didn’t know any better and fear stopped me from asking for help until eventually I did ask. I had to, there was no other way around it for me and there won’t be for you either.

Fast forward several years and I’ve now figured out what works and what doesn’t. All that experience along with the gazillion mistakes I’ve made, has given me a unique perspective on what it takes to get an online business up and running and out the gate in less time. From ideas to implementation I’ve taken what I know sifted out the rubbish and condensed it down into an accelerated learning programme that’s: Designed for beginners and Delivered in one day!

To give you a better insight into how I did things and more importantly how to avoid my mistakes download my FREE eBook below its chock full of helpful tips and what not to do and like it says in the quote at the top of this page tip toe if you must but take the step

If you’d like to know more about  how to get your business online in less time please click the pink link below

http://deecoxon.com/fast-class/

From my heart to yours

Thank you for taking the time today

Dee  X

 

 

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What does Scarlett Moffatt have to do with your business start up

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Pic: Courtesy Daily Mirror UK

In case you didn’t know: Scarlett is a young woman from the North East of England who first came onto my radar as one of the Channel 4 “Goggleboxers” in 2014. Her job on the show is to simply watch TV from the comfort of her own sofa and comment on the programmes she’s watching.

Funny, self-deprecating and incredibly witty, Scarlett soon built a large following of fans that looked forward to her weekly quips and observations. It was obvious to me from the get go, she was made for TV and that it wouldn’t be long before she would leave the sofa to front her own TV show/s.

Roll forward to December 2016 and Scarlett is crowned “Queen of the Jungle” as the winner of ITVs “I’m a celebrity get me out of here” and as I predicted some time ago the opportunities for her future in television have now exploded.

Having landed several TV “presenting” roles for 2017 She is well on her way to the TV top but it wasn’t always like that; for a start she was mercilessly bullied for her looks as a youngster to the point she was allowed out of school early so “she didn’t get her face kicked in”.

What I noticed about Scarlett was she doesn’t see in herself what others see in her and therefore, couldn’t believe she was even chosen for “I’m a celebrity” let alone go onto win it, especially as she’d watched the show for 10 years and up until then had only ever dreamed of one day becoming a contestant.

Once she got the opportunity to join the show she was initially “awestruck” by the other celebrities and even went as far as to say she didn’t think she was deserving of the opportunity. “Why Me” she kept asking herself, which leads me nicely to my question Why Not Scarlett?

I have mentioned in another one of my posts: how we never see ourselves the way others see us and that we’re much better at hiding our gifts than we are at shining a light on them. I used to think this was a UK phenomenon but I’ve since discovered it’s a global issue.

It’s true, as women many of us are afraid to put our heads above the parapet especially when it comes to starting a business and even more so if were not “twenty – something’s” like the lovely Scarlett.

What if they don’t like me? What if they think I’m not enough or even worse not good enough? What if they laugh at me or think my ideas are naff? What if they think I shouldn’t start a business, or I’m too fat, too this or to that……..

What if, what if, what if? I hear it all the time from my clients and I’m the same. Even when our plans are going well or business is good, we’ll still have an attack of the wobbles because it’s a human condition. Truth is we wouldn’t be normal if we didn’t BUT being scared or having a wobble is not a good enough reason to walk away from your dreams and aspirations.

Yes it’s scary at times and there are a lot of unknowns when you’re first starting out but unknowns are only a temporary state. You’ll soon have the answers to those unknowns if you simply open your mouth and ask questions. Remember the only stupid questions are the ones you didn’t ask.

Pic: Courtesy Daily Mirror UK

Getting back to Scarlett I accept she is about 20 years younger than the women I normally work with but her worries and insecurities are no different to yours. Like Scarlett, many of you never see in yourself what others see in you and by others I don’t mean the haters, the critics or the jealous negatives (they’ll always be there) I mean the people who see your natural gifts and want what you have to offer and what’s more are willing to pay you: to teach and share with them your gifts, knowledge and expertise.

Scarlett Moffatt reached for the moon an instead she got the stars, all of them, on her side and in her hand however, it didn’t happen overnight: It took work and dedication but she’s there now!

So if you’re afraid to take the next step, ask yourself: which is scarier?

Putting yourself out there knowing that some jealous hater will inevitably have something negative to say about your dreams and aspirations OR

Getting to the end of your life feeling unfulfilled and disappointed having never even tried to reach your true potential or realise your dreams just because you were scared?

So what if you fail at first, you won’t die from failing and contrary to belief you can’t actually die of shame either!

What you can do is get yourself a FREE 30 minute breakthrough session over the phone with me. I’d love to hear what’s holding you back and answer any questions or worries you may have about starting your own online business. There’s nothing to fear except fear itself so go on bag yourself a FREE session. #FYI I’m un-shock able there’s nothing you can tell me about your fears or setbacks that will surprise me.

WARNING: these will probably be the most valuable 30 minutes you’ll ever spend on yourself….. click the pink link then scroll halfway down the page to access your FREE session http://deecoxon.com/fast-class/ take action do it now!

Thank you for taking the time today

From my heart to yours Dee  X

 

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Online training – who’s telling the truth?

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online training

When it comes to buying online training courses and to help you with your decision making I want to look at the question: who’s telling the truth? I get so frustrated when I come across messages and advertising from coaches and companies who offer online training on everything from growing a six figure business to how to get massive traffic to your website.

 

As I read through their promises of life changing strategies I know from painful experience what’s coming and dread the bit that says.  “ This works for everybody no matter where you are in your business journey this online training is for you”.

That’s a very broad statement and taken out of context it can an often does spell disaster for the uninformed!

Apart from slipper socks and body shapers bought from the china bazaar on holiday I rarely believe in one size fits all especially when it comes to online training and there’s a very good reasons for this.

  let’s use “how to grow a six figure business” as an example 

One of the coaches i’m familiar with, who by the way is excellent at what she does, offers online training in how to grow a six figure business and it’s aimed at “everybody” including beginners. Her key message is also: no matter where you are in your business journey this online training will work for you!

images-2So It came as no surprise one day when I read a comment on her face book page from a disgruntled client who said don’t buy this online training it doesn’t work. Was the client telling the truth? yes and no.

I did a little digging around the said “disgruntled” and discovered she didn’t have a business or a website. if she did it was well hidden as I could find nothing. By the way I’m not being at all  disrespectful about the client I’m simply giving you an insight into her circumstances. The reason for this will become clear in a moment.

The clients face book page did have a handful of friends however, there was no mention of a business and there was no sign of her on twitter. I check  FB and twitter first as these are usually the most common platforms for small or new business owners which I assumed she must already be; having bought a programme on how to grow a six figure business?

Given all of the above it’s no wonder the online training didn’t work for her so yes I absolutely believe her but was she right to blame the coach? Well she would say yes because I can assure you in the six figure programme she’d unwittingly bought; she would be asked to implement strategies and techniques she didn’t understand; using online tools and models she knew nothing about.

Once she’d discovered what was required of her and what she would have to put in place before the online training could work for her; she would be mightily pissed off having spent a tidy sum believing she would grow a six figure business in 30 days.

Think about it ……..this woman was excited, she had an end goal in sight and in her mind her dream was just thirty days away. Imagine what it feels like when you realise that can be the case for somebody but its not the case for you if you don’t know what you’re doing. So yes in that moment her real world problem was this coach has ripped me off!

 

Of course there is a  solution: she can go back and learn the basics first. She can look at the items in her six figure programme, identify what she doesn’t know including any skills gaps. Learn and implement these and  once she’s done that then she can make good use of her six figure training programme because then it will all make sense to her and it will work.  BUT……. she doesn’t want to do that. She’s angry, she feels she wasted her money and she’s looking for someone to blame.

Now you might say well it’s the coaches fault surely? She said it was for everybody right! Well in the coaches mind it is. She sold her client the programme believing she bought it because she was ready and able to use it. The client on the other hand bought the programme because she believed doing so would “make” her ready and able to use it. So what’s the lesson here?

Perception is everything. Take note: when a coach says this works for  everybody beginners included, check the context because “beginner” means different things to different people.

Look at the examples below

Example #1 You already have an online business offering low priced training programmes (  obviously you have experience in this area). Now you want to up the anti, increase the value of your service and charge a higher price for doing so. You don’t yet know how to do this so you’re looking for someone to teach you how to create higher priced training programmes ( you’re now a beginner in this particular area)

Example #2 Client has a one page website and is ready to launch ( some experience) but doesn’t know how to market her business to an online audience and she needs help in this area ( beginner)

Example #3 Retailer has a brick and mortar business ( lots of experience) and is ready to take this online but has no knowledge about how to set up an online business (  beginner in the online world)

Example #4  Artist is an expert in  her field. ( experience) She has an idea for an online business. She doesn’t have a website or a brick and mortar store. She has no subscriber list, nothing in place, no online skills and no idea what to do or where to start in terms of setting up this business.  ( beginner)

Do you see you how you can be both experienced and a beginner at the same time? Being a ninja in your area of expertise doesn’t mean you can crack an online training package in record time on a subject you know nothing about. So again be honest with yourself. There’s no shame in being a beginner; what is a shame is you deceiving yourself, then blaming someone else for your mistake.

What can you do?

When a coach offers you online training it’s up to you to identify if you’re ready for this and an easy way to do this is to know where you really are ( not where you’d like to be) in terms of what’s being offered? Look at the course description properly. Just because the outcomes promised are attractive to you, that alone won’t be enough to get you through without either a working knowledge or some understanding  of what’s being described.

If most of the course details make little or no sense to you and you’re just seeing the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow then chances are your not ready. Look at the terminology being used. Take note of the processes and online tools being referred to. If none of this resonates with you and you find yourself thinking what on earth does that mean then take this as a good indicator this might not be for you just yet.

When should you buy?

To help you make a decision find out what it all means by reading up on the items you don’t understand, ask someone with more experience than you to explain. Better yet take up the coaches offer of a free chat before you buy or (and this one might seem rather obvious) if you are new to the subject being offered then buy an online training package that actually provides “training for beginners” not advanced or intermediate and not one size fits all.

Once you’ve nailed the skills or knowledge you were lacking you will be much better equipped to deal with, enjoy and benefit from the advanced training you’ve just bought or were thinking about buying.

Something worth noting here: 

Start small and scale up in this order; beginners > intermediate > advanced. The reason this is so important apart from the obvious is:  I’ve yet to meet a  beginner who went straight for advanced training and didn’t have to circle back to fill in the gaps!

All is not lost

Even if you have inadvertently done things back to front and spent money on a programme your not yet ready to work with; don’t be despondent nothing is wasted. Accept you will have to back track before you can implement the advanced training and while this might not have been your plan: you are where you are with it so take a deep breath, buckle up and do it. If you’re not prepared to do that then something is wasted………. that would be your time and money.

How do I know this?

I made the same painful mistake myself some years ago when I was starting out so I’m acutely aware of the effects and the cost of bright shiny object syndrome and I’m well placed to talk about the pitfalls. That’s what inspired me to teach other women how to create and set up their online business from scratch using:

The Fast Class: A bespoke accelerated learning programme. Designed for beginners – Delivered in one day !

Find out more about The Fast Class

Thank you for taking the time today Deepink heartX

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My decision to quit

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A few years ago  I decided to quit smoking. The truth is without excuse or apology I enjoyed a cigarette and came to use smoking as a reward system for myself. Whether it was after a hard days work, pulling off a successful deal, finishing the ironing or any completion of a task I would enjoy a cigarette and a coffee.

From the day I gave up smoking I upped my exercise regime and increased my healthy eating. I already did both but knew these should be increased to help with any  weight gain that might come without cigarettes.

I took the first week off work so I could be in the gym and stay away from the human race in general. Although I’m  normally of a happy disposition, I knew I would become “narky” to say the least, so with this in mind I didn’t want to make others suffer and I certainly didn’t want to suffer the platitudes of the non smokers who would pat me on the back and offer words of support that would quite frankly get on my wick.

For the next six months my life was an absolute misery: I became another person altogether, so much so, I didn’t recognise my own behaviour or personality.

 I was angry all the time: picking arguments with my lovely husband and almost driving him and me insane. I was just so irritated and distressed. I wanted to rip off the cloak of bad temper that had enveloped me and yet I could do nothing to help myself. I was working out eating healthily, using relaxation techniques and reading self help books, walking for miles and just doing anything I could to get through this quitting stage.

I didn’t feel sad or depressed I was just angry and crying regularly with uncharacteristic fits of temper not associated with my normal demeanour. My husband would have done anything to help me in fact he tried everything until I explained to him I just wanted to stab him for no reason and it got to the point where I would have to say to him: I’m going upstairs for a while, please don’t follow me because I might stab you, so I’m sorry but I cant stay in the room with you.

 

We were both devastated by these desperate feelings but in time we developed a shorthand code where I would just: raise my eyebrows when he asked where I was going  and he knew to just let me go without question until I could safely return to the living room once those horrible feelings had subsided.

One day my husband said to me: just tell me what to do and I’ll do it, anything to make this  stop, in fact he said: I’m going to buy you some cigarettes because this can’t go on. I said to him you can’t help me because: what I want now isn’t wanted I wanted fifteen seconds ago and certainly won’t be what I want in ten seconds time!

 

He sat with his head in his hands and then after a few moments asked if I would go and see the doctor and he would come with me. I wanted to scream at him but I didn’t and just said yes I would go to the doctor. I felt defeated I’d tried so hard and hadn’t touched a cigarette yet was still suffering withdrawal symptoms some 6 moths down the line.

The doctor did some digging into the six months since I’d quit smoking and this was followed with some blood tests. I went back for the results and the doctor talked me through her findings. It turned out I was in early menopause and had been for some time without knowing. She explained that none of my symptoms were related to quitting smoking and that in fact I’d probably been over the initial cravings after about the first 6 days (What!!!!!)

She went on to say I’d been very unlucky:  quitting smoking was just a red herring in terms of my symptoms and it was hard lines that these two major events in my life had arrived together. What she did say when she talked me through the numbers on her screen was:  the levels of hormonal imbalance indicated were quite severe and that it was no wonder I was in such a state. She couldn’t believe I’d not succumbed to a cigarette in the circumstances or stabbed my husband, (yes I did tell her about that.)

I left the doctors surgery and almost skipped home.  I didn’t even have a prescription as I didn’t want HRT. Neither did I have any of those distressed feelings of discovering I might be beyond child bearing years or that I might feel less attractive for being in the menopause.

I wasn’t affected at all by any of those feelings. I was just so relieved to have an understanding of what had been happening to me and that I wasn’t  going insane.There were legitimate reasons for the state I’d found myself in and thankfully they were nothing to do with nicotine withdrawal.

I was amazed I hadn’t realised what was going on with me but I was just 43 at the time so it wasn’t  really on my radar and and when I think about what I’d put myself through, how much I and those around me had suffered and how hard I’d beat myself up because I thought I was weak and unable to manage without cigarettes, when in truth it was something else entirely ( and normal) that had taken hold.

I continued with my healthy regime and added some natural therapies to assist with my symptoms and in time those extreme feelings did gradually subside but to be honest it was the understanding of what was happening to me that got me through it.

I was able to enjoy all the positives that come with menopause and there are plenty of them. My favourite is what my hubby affectionately calls “fogging”: I could be packing a grocery bag or opening the car door and I’d just go off into a world of my own for about twenty seconds, it’s the loveliest fluffy feeling, everything around me continued but in my world everything stopped and I actually enjoyed this when it happened. When it was over I’d just pick up where I left off and continue what I was doing. Thankfully “fogging”  never happened to me while crossing the road or driving.

The moral of the story is: “things are not always as they seem” so often we think it’s one thing and it turns out to be something else so do get it checked out and hopefully like me you’ll be pleasantly surprised to learn that such extreme behavioural changes don’t occur for no reason.

In my case and once I had a diagnosis it was mainly mind over matter that helped me in the end but had I not visited my doctor I really don’t know what the outcome would have been, it scares me to think about the possibilities…….

The best thing to come out of that episode of change was my recognition that things really were changing in my life. I was experiencing a personal freedom I’d never known before and I stared to take time to reflect on the things I’d accomplished so far.

I began noticing a feeling that had been nagging me. I knew I was  destined for a different path. Even though business was good and my bank balance healthy I felt restless and unfulfilled. My career and lifestyle choices or should I say lifestyle restrictions, no longer met my expectations.

I loved writing and I loved talking even more. Teaching, supporting advising and guiding were very natural inclinations for me although these were not part of my job description . So it was around this time the seeds of my future were planted. I wasn’t exactly sure where I was going with this but one thing I did know was: I was on the move. Mentally, spiritually  and emotionally my goals and aspirations were changing and so was I.

And I wanted to find a way to combine my natural gifts with my professional expertise. It was time, I was ready to answer my calling………….. and I did that by creating a business to help other women do what I’d done by teaching and mentoring them to step into the business they were born to create. It took a while but I got there!

“Your career is what you’re paid for – your calling is what you’re made for”

Thankfully I get to have both. You too can combine your natural gifts and expertise to create the lifestyle business you want and you can begin with 3 easy steps

1.Accept it’s time for change.

2. Make a decision to start somewhere.

3. Take action.

A good place to start is with my FREE eBook. If you’re serious about making some real changes in your life and #1 on your wish list is getting your business online,  then this book is for you. Good news it won’t cost you a penny. Better news it will help you simplify your struggle starting today!

To your success today and everyday

Dee X pink heart 

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The entrepreneurs wound

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The entrepreneurs wound often comes from a place of pain or a strong desire to be immersed in something you feel so passionate about you just keep going until you get there. Whatever the reason, your journey shows determination to succeed against the odds. As a fan and follower of the expert women listed below, their success stories  inspired me to “do better do more” when I first started out so I decided to ask what made them do it?

 

untitledKathleen Gage:  It was in 1994 when I fully realized working a corporate job was not what I was destined to do. I found limitations and restrictions to my creative spirit.   I could have kept on the way I was, but the more I tried to “fit it” the more difficult it became to show up with passion and enthusiasm.

It was not an easy road simply because I made the decision to start my business. There was a lot to learn including what it meant to run my own business, being fully accountable for my choices and having the willingness to do all that I needed to do to grow my business.   Looking back, what I would have done sooner is asked for help and hired a successful mentor.

Kathleen Gage helps entrepreneurs make money online. She is a marketing strategist and business consultant who works with consciously aware entrepreneurs who are experts in their field. http:/www.powerupforprofits.com

 

images (3)Karon Thackston: I had been dissatisfied with my job for a long while. Office politics finally got the better of me because I am a straight shooter not a game player. With just a tiny bit of knowledge about websites and the Internet, I decided to start looking into starting my own company.  I had several ideas, but – after thinking through a lot of “what ifs” – I decided to start a copywriting agency.

As someone with the natural characteristics of an entrepreneur, I love what I do!  It is a lot of work, but it’s work I really get a kick out of.  Helping small and medium-sized businesses turn their websites around through conversion-oriented copy and content that ranks well with the search engines is a big thrill. As time went on, we branched out and now also offer training as well as consulting services.  It just keeps getting better!  www.marketingwords.com

 

Lyne-TerryLynne Terry: Let me first say, I had no way of knowing how my life would ultimately turn out. I couldn’t even envision then, what it is today. My initial goals were met a long time ago, and so I continue to make the choice to move forward and improve my life.

I remember the day that first lightbulb went off in my head, though. I was a young woman in my early twenties. I was married at the time and we had a combined family with four children between us. We struggled financially.

My husband and I both did our best to keep the low-paying jobs we had, but those came and went. We did our best. And honestly, I just thought “this is the life I was dealt.” I never really thought outside of what was “my norm” at the time. And then one day, while working at my job, my boss shared *her* story with me.

It was quite uncharacteristic. She was usually all business and very professional. But for some reason, that day, she was feeling chatty. I always thought she was an interesting character. She drove a Lexus, wore expensive clothes, was married to a wealthy entrepreneur, worked from home at her own business (where she employed me), but there was something interesting about her.

She was very down to earth, and sometimes quirky. I’d see her with jeans and a tee shirt under her fur coat, for example. You could just tell that she wasn’t raised a “silver spoon girl” despite current appearances.

When she told me her story, everything about her finally made sense. She talked about being homeless, and hopeless, and told me the chain of events that completely turned her life around.

It was that day, and that conversation, that made me realize that *anything* could happen. It took more time yet before I really grasped the concept that I could make anything happen. But that was the pivotal moment. The day my mind became open to ideas, options, and possibilities.

It was a couple of years later before I “ditched my life” and went for a big dream. All that time I was working, but I kept going over ideas one after the other. Finally it hit me. Things were just not working out. We were barely making it. My life wasn’t anything worth “saving” anyway. So I asked “What do we have to lose?” And the answer was… “Nothing.”

I went over the Worst Case Scenario in detail. And the worst thing I could come up with was that we’d both have to get another job. Low paying jobs like ours were easy enough to replace, lol. And of course, there was the possibility that the Best Case Scenario would come true!

My husband thought it was nuts, but he supported me anyway. I sold everything we owned at a local auction house for a whopping $600. I’m talking furniture, clothes, the kids’ toys, dishes, you name it. I quit my job, and we started a hopeless business (hopeless to anyone looking on, shaking their head at me, lol).

That business did six figures in it’s first full year. I was determined to prove I could do it. Especially after everyone thinking I had totally lost my mind.  I have often thought back over the years and wondered if Mrs N. ever knew just how much she inspired me.

That was the day I stopped settling for “the life I was dealt” and started realizing that anything could happen to anyone – at any time. And as time went on, and I gained more experience, I realized it wasn’t at all about fate or luck… but that even a small town girl with no college education could take an idea – and go big with it!

I’ve been on a roll ever since. Trading that $6/hour job for a 6-figure income took a serious leap of faith, a lot of long hours, and tons of persistence. I have no regrets, of course. It was all worth it! www.ClickNewz.com

You will notice Kathleen, Karon, and Lynne all had to do one thing to make it happen. They had to make a decision to take action: we all do and that includes you. Without action nothing will happen and nothing can change and I really don’t want that for you.

 Download my Free eBook and take action today! 

From my heart to yours
Dee x pink heart

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